STOP THESE TRENDS.
Have you heard of the term, “fashion nightmare?” To define it for you, it is when people wear the wrong clothes, wrong accessories, and wrong style. Do you have some in mind? Iʼve got 10 utterly nightmare-causing outfits straight from Hollywood.
10. One Style Too Often
This nightmare rates the lowest of all 10. Need I explain this? Taylor Swift
does an amazing job of this, I must add. Itʼs when some people get so comfortable, arguably too comfortable with their outfits that they buy the same thing, in every color and every pattern. One or two of the same, not a problem, but when you hit the 5 dress mark, stop. Taylor Swift must have a hundred of these one-color, knee-length puffed out skirt dresses. If you donʼt believe me, take a look.
She has them in brown, cream, clover green, yellow, and sequined black, and I remember seeing a gold one, a red one and two other cream ones, so that makes 9 right now. Iʼm guessing she has more.
9. Casual Much?
There is a thing we call dress codes. At events, we are actually required to dress appropriately. You canʼt just pull own a pair of shorts and a shirt and then drop a jacket over. Thatʼs just not right. And look at our perp right here.Itʼs Jessica Simpson, notorious for dressing down. Weʼre all for effortless fashion, but isnʼt that a little too effortless. Itʼs more like no effort at all. Adding to that, the jacket is so loose and sloppy, it makes her lose those beautiful curves.
8. Too Big a But(t)
Why do starlets have to dress so old for their age?
If youʼre 19, put on a fun, flirty dress, something with color, print, and the right length. When youʼre young, you have a body. Rock it. Wear for it. Use it. As for color, go bold and beautiful, violet purple or hot pink. Donʼt turn into sad Emma Roberts here. That dress is not only sloppy, the color is too much “ladies who lunch,” rather than hot 19 year old teenager.
Hollywood stars have always been known for taking risks, but flying all the way to Oz is just wrong. Awful. Plain. Wrong. Now look here, we have red-head Dorothy who apparently grew up (but not out of her shoes) and the Tin Manʼs wife. I never knew the Tin Man got married to Tori Spelling. As for Rihannaʼs dress, it looks like she brought back the entire poppy field back to La-La Land. And look at Toriʼs face, she looks like she needs some oil for her joints, doesnʼt she?
Weʼve all heard of failed art projects, but this is just so crazy. Look at poor Claire Danes. The pink dress was not half bad, but when you see the green stripe and the funny fungus sleeve, it is just way too much. Besides, donʼt you just want to tear that funny fungus sleeve off? The length, the draping, the colors, the center of interest, in this case, the disaster epicenter, itʼs just all wrong.
Lingerie dresses are all the rage, but when it looks like youʼre not wearing anything at all, isnʼt it just scary? Imagine walking onto the red carpet and turning heads for all the wrong reasons. Salma Hayek, youʼre married to the Gucci designer, not the Victoriaʼs Secret owner. Put on some clothes. Youʼd think a couture wife would have on something
glamorous. As for the funky bottom, itʼs more funked up than funky.
Anyone whoʼs watched Project Runway has seen all the weird materials they use to make dresses and clothing, but tissue paper? Really? Itʼs like Nicole Richie came well prepared for her allergies. I wonder what sheʼs allergic to. Maybe bad fashion? If so, sheʼll be using up the entire skirt. She came well prepared for the excessive amounts of tissue too. Can you see the “hidden” trash bags? She rolled them up and taped them onto her dress. Sneaky Nicole Richie, you.
When you have a mental breakdown, thereʼs only one thing to do. Go buy mental breakdown clothing. Thatʼs what Gwen Stefani, Paris Hilton, and Mischa Barton did. Letʼs start with Gwen. I think her shrink told her to buy something representing emotions. Iʼm guessing she picked out nervous and trashy. As for Paris Hilton, being a heiress is very exhausting. Doesnʼt it look like she threw Hawaii onto her dress, for therapeutic properties, maybe? They say ocean waves and wales do calm you. And Mischa Barton. She has a mental breakdown every day.
That dress and that bag look like you partied at an art museum and dragged the art out with you. One piece of advice, donʼt go shopping when youʼre crazy. It scares people.
For those of you who donʼt know what coulrophobia means, it means fear of clowns. And after Rihannaʼs dresses, I certainly am. This wins the top nightmare position. The colored dots makes Rihanna look like a circus monkey with juggling balls. As for that radioactive shade of orange for her blazer and those stripes on the skirt, Rihanna looks like sheʼs carrying a portable big top.
Well, thatʼs it for my fashion rants for the time being. I hope you enjoyed it.
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